Living for Jesus: Colossians 4:6: Be Careful What You Say.

There is an old proverb: “A bird is known by its note; a man by his talk.” Another old saying is “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” But it’s not true: words can hurt—and words can also heal.

COLOSSIANS 4:6: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY

INTRODUCTION

Scientists who have studied the matter tell us that the average adult speaks about 13,500 words each day. Of course there are great differences between us. Teachers, barbers, and salespeople talk much more than farmers, accountants, and bus drivers.
But suppose you speak 13,500 words every day of your life. That would be almost 5 million words per year. In a lifetime of 80 years you might speak nearly 400 million words.
An ordinary novel contains 250 words per page. Think of a book with 250 pages, with 250 words on each page. That would be 60,000 words.
If an average person speaks 13,500 words each day for 80 years, he or she would say enough words to fill 4867 books.
Imagine if all the words you had ever spoken were printed in books and those books were lined up on shelves—that would be quite a roomful of books!

One day, when our son John was a little boy, he told us that someone had said something hurtful to him.
I told him: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
He said, “But Daddy, they do hurt.”
That’s true. Words can hurt, and they can also heal and comfort and encourage.

A little girl knelt beside her bed and said this to Jesus, “Dear Jesus, make all the good people nice.”
Sometimes we forget that being nice is part of being good.
And the main way we have of being “nice” is by kind words.

How we use talk to help one another and to express our faith in God is an important subject in the Bible.

In Paul’s letter to the Colossians we read these words:

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt,
so that you may know how you ought to answer every one.”

I. How can our speech be gracious and seasoned with salt?

A. Gracious speech is speech that is comforting, encouraging, and full of gratitude.

We speak graciously when we offer a sincere compliment…when we notice something good in another person.
We speak graciously when we thank someone for a little act of kindness—even if it is part of their job.
We speak graciously when we sympathize with one who is hurting. Compassion is feeling the hurt in another person’s heart. Compassion also includes doing something—even if it is just a sympathizing word.
Sometimes speaking graciously might even mean refraining from speech and just listening. For some of us listening is hard to do. I often feel that I just must talk or I will burst. But I won’t burst. I need to discipline my speech and listen more.

Ungracious speech includes ridiculing, correcting and contradicting, gossiping and tale-bearing.

We were in a church once in which the men had a habit of kidding one another. I felt that much of the kidding was unkind, they sometimes hurt each other, pretending it was humor.

In Ephesians Paul wrote this, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, that your words may give grace to those who hear.”
That is gracious talk; talk that builds up the other person, talk that imparts grace to the one who hears.

In the same letter Paul tells us to speak the truth in love. We may say something that is true, but we must also speak in love. That means that some things we might like to say—we don’t. It means that we are always thinking about the other person’s feelings rather than our own.

Do you remember when you said something dumb or unkind and your mother told you: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”?

Someone suggests that everything we say should pass through three sieves: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?”
If we all followed that rule, the world would be a lot quieter. It would also be happier.

Here are some of the ways we can make love with our voices:

“Let me help you.”
“You’ve been a good friend.”
“Those are the words I needed to hear.”
“You’ve made my day.”
“Here, use mine.”
“Are you comfortable?”
“I’ll wait for you.”
”Thank you.”
“I’ve been thinking about you.”
“What a beautiful sweater!”
“You’re fun to be around.”
”Here’s something just for you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you for your visit.”
“You’re a good listener.”
“Something you told me the other day has been an encouragement to me.”
“Tell me about your grandchildren.”
“You seem troubled today; can I help?”

These are examples of gracious speech.

B. But what does the apostle mean when he says our speech should be “seasoned with salt”?

A little salt enhances the flavor in food.

I eat oatmeal for breakfast. If I forget to put about ¼ teaspoon of salt in it, it tastes like the pan.
We make bread at our house. For a loaf of bread we use 1 teaspoon of salt. When we eat the bread we can’t taste that bit of salt, but if we forget to put in the salt, the bread tastes insipid.

Speech seasoned with salt is speech that is interesting or helpful.
That requires thinking before we speak.

We need to learn and think, so that when we open our mouths something useful comes out. But we remember that what’s interesting to us may not be interesting to others.
Someone said, “Ideas are like children; our own are very wonderful.”
That is why it is more important to be good listeners than good talkers.

But for ancient people, salt was more important as a preservative than as a seasoning.

People in Bible times didn’t have canning or freezing.
The only way to keep meat or fish eatable was to salt it.
So people thought of salt as that which preserves.
When Jesus says, “You are the salt of the earth,” he means that we are to preserve goodness in society.
If we are to be the salt of the earth, our speech should reflect that goodness that preserves and protects rather than destroying and hurting.
When St. Paul says that our speech is to be “seasoned with salt,” he means that it is to be wholesome and helpful.

II. If we love Jesus, our love for him should show up in our talk.

A. Whatever we love and whatever is important to us, we talk about. Loyalty to our Lord must go beyond being kind and considerate.

It is easy to give the impression that we are “religious.” People see that we go to church. They may see us bow our heads to give thanks for our food; they may see our Bible on our table or the Bible verse on our wall. Those things speak of what is important to us.

But sometimes we will have to say something.

B. Our text says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer every one.”

One answer is appropriate for one person, and another answer is appropriate for another.
For example, if the one I am speaking to is not a fellow believer, or if I don’t know about my friend’s feelings about God, I need to be sensitive.

Some people are frightened by talk about God or salvation.
We need a tender heart and a humble mind when we mention God’s love and our assurance of eternal life.

But when someone shares a sorrow, we listen with sympathy.
Maybe you tell her, “I’ll remember you in my prayers.
Hardly anyone is offended by knowing that we are praying for them—even if they don’t believe in God.
If someone shares a disappointment with you, you may say, “When my world fell apart, it was a comfort to know that God loves me and will never let me go.”
And whenever anyone asks you about your source of contentment, be ready to tell them what God has done for you.
If someone does us a kindness, we might say, “Thank you so much. May God bless you.”
Most people are happy to receive your blessing, and it may help draw them to God.

If our friend is a fellow believer we can be very direct. They will enjoy talking with us about salvation, the blessings in our lives, and our expectation of heaven.
As a believer, to hear someone talk about God in their lives is a great comfort and strength.
All of us struggle with faith sometimes. To hear my friend talk about the reality of God helps me to believe more firmly.
It’s true that we Christian people hold on to one another’s faith.

CONCLUSION

I read a story not long ago that illustrates the healing power of thoughtful words.

Mary Ann Bird was born with multiple birth defects: deaf in one ear, a cleft palate, a disfigured face, a crooked nose, lopsided feet. As a child she suffered not only the physical impairments but also the thoughtless comments of other children. “Oh, Mary Ann,” her classmates would say, “what happened to your lip?”
Mary Ann would lie: “I cut it on a piece of glass.”
For Mary Ann one of the worst experiences at school was the day of the annual hearing test. The teacher would call each child to her desk, and the child would cover first one ear, and then the other. The teacher would whisper something to the child like “The sky is blue” or “You have new shoes.” This was the whisper test”: if the child could repeat the teacher’s whispered sentence, he or she passed the whisper test. To avoid the humiliation of failure, Mary Ann always cheated on the test by secretly cupping her hand over her one good ear so that she could still hear what the teacher said.
One year Mary Ann was in the class of Miss Leonard, one of the most beloved teachers in the school. Every student, including Mary Ann, wanted to be noticed by her, wanted her affection. Then came the day of the dreaded hearing test.
When her turn came, Mary Ann was called to the teacher’s desk. As Mary Ann cupped her hand over her good ear, Miss Leonard leaned forward to whisper. “I waited for those words,” Mary Ann wrote, “which God must have put into her mouth, those seven words which changed my life.” Miss Leonard did not say “The sky is blue” or “You have new shoes.” What she whispered was “I wish you were my little girl.”
Those words changed Mary Ann Bird’s life. She went on to become a teacher herself, a person of inner beauty and great kindness.

That time when her beloved teacher told her “I wish you were my little girl” was so important to Mary Ann Bird that when she wrote the story of her life in her memoir, she titled it “The Whisper Test.” (Thomas G. Long, Testimony, p86)

Living for Jesus: Luke 18:9-14: The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector

Jesus told a story about two men who went up to the Temple to pray. One was a good man, the other, a bad man. But at the end of the story, the bad man is the one who is our example.

LUKE 18:9-14: THE PARABLE OF THE PHARISEE AND THE TAX COLLECTOR

INTRODUCTION

Last week I read this in a book by one of my favorite authors (C. S. Lewis): “When Christianity does not make a man very much better, it makes him very much worse.”
We know that having God in my life should make me a better person than I would be otherwise. We expect that faith in Jesus Christ should make me more loving, kind, generous, more just.
But how could having God in my life make me worse?

Jesus told a parable about that in Luke 18:9-14

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt:
“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.”
But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”
I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.”

I. Jesus didn’t go into detail about what these two men were like. The terms “Pharisee” and “tax collector” told his listeners all they needed to know about the character of these two men.

A. Historians tell us that the Pharisees were “good people.”

Our Pharisee was an asset to his community.
Pharisees was people who took their religion seriously. They didn’t just “talk the talk,” they “walked the walk.”
Pharisees loved their Bibles. They knew large portions of it by heart. And they tried hard to live by its principles.
Pharisees never missed church. (They called it synagogue.)
Pharisees held the correct beliefs.
Pharisees prayed every day and they prayed long.
Pharisees practiced self-denial.
Pharisees avoided the company of wicked people.
These are characteristics of good people.

When the Pharisee reminds God in his prayer that he fasts twice a week and that he gives away a tenth of his income he is just giving God a sample of the good things in his life.

Pharisees were admired by the people of the country.
We need to get out of our minds that the Pharisees were self-righteous prigs who went around alienating people by acting holier-than-thou.
No, Pharisees were looked up to. Mothers would be proud if their sons grew up to be Pharisees.

B. But what kind of people were the tax collectors?

In the Roman world they were called “publicans,” and that is the term we remember from our old Bibles.

Get out of your mind that the publicans were humble fellows who were comfortable to be around.
Publicans were tough guys who didn’t care what other people thought.
They made their living by helping the Romans oppress their fellow Jewish countrymen.
Publicans collected the hard-earned money of the Jews. Often they cheated them by asking for more than they really owed. The extra they kept for themselves. What they didn’t keep for themselves was sent to Rome to support the armies, build palaces for the emperor, and provide amusements for the idle population of Rome.
No one would have wanted to be a publican except that it was a good living. Publicans were wealthy. This publican in our story was probably wealthier than the Pharisee.
Publicans weren’t welcomed in the synagogues or at community gatherings.
They were on the same social level as prostitutes, adulterers, ex-convicts, and people who made no pretence of religion.
Their only friends were other tax collectors and rejects from society.
No mothers wanted their sons to grow up to be publicans.

II. Jesus calls our attention to is the prayer of each of these men.

A. The Pharisee’s prayer was all thanksgiving.

I see some good things in the Pharisee’s prayer.
He thanks God for the good work God has done in his life.
In his prayer he recognizes that he is what he is by the grace of God.
God has helped him overcome bad habits and discipline his life.
God has moved his heart to obedience and generosity.
The Pharisee sees himself as a fine fellow, and he gives the credit to God.

B. The publican’s prayer was all confession.

The Publican stood “far off,” in a corner somewhere.
He didn’t look up and stretch out his arms to heaven as was the custom in those days.
He is feeling so guilty that he knelt in his corner as he beat his chest and cried out, “God be merciful to me, a sinner!” The text implies that he continued saying this over and over: “God me merciful to me, a sinner! God be merciful to me, a sinner!”
He may have had many needs in his life, but his overwhelming need was to get right with God.

Jesus liked this man’s prayer and tells us that he went down to his house justified—which means forgiven, made clean, offered a new start—in fact, a new life.
We don’t know whether this publican’s repentance was deep or shallow, but we hope that this was a new life of obedience, faith, and love.
We don’t know whether he kept his occupation of tax collector, but if did he would have had to figure out a way to use his position to help people rather than cheat them.

C. So what was wrong with the Pharisee’s prayer?

What’s wrong comes right at the beginning, when he says, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people…”
His sin was measuring himself by looking down at people less good than he, rather than by looking up toward God and realizing how far short he fell of being what he ought to be.
Although he thought he was thanking God, he was really congratulating himself.
In his mind he was sitting up there, a little below his God but far above sinners like the publican. He is, as he says, “not like other men.”

The gospel writer gives us the key to the Pharisee’s problem at the beginning when he says, “Jesus told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and despised others.”
Someone commented: “He had just enough religion to make him virtuous but not enough to make him humble.”

D. Why is the publican’s prayer accepted?

- because he admitted to his sin and need for mercy. He had a crushing sense of his own sinfulness.
- because he had given up on himself. Only God could help.
- because he knew he didn’t deserve anything from God.
- because he didn’t take it for granted that God is waiting for him to say the word, so that he can forgive him.
- because he knows that for forgiveness to happen, he has to ask for it.


APPLICATION

When I look at my heart I see a Pharisee lurking there.
God has forgiven me and given me a new life.
I rejoice in my salvation.
I read my Bible. I pray. I go to church. I give money. I live for God.

And then the devil sneaks these little thoughts into my mind: “See how far you’ve come.” “See how much better you are than other people.”

And I begin to notice the faults of other people. There is nothing that feeds my good opinion of myself as much as noticing the faults of other people.
That’s one reason we notice the faults of other people—it makes us feel so righteous.

But here is something I have noticed.
Everyone I know has faults. I notice them. I can’t help noticing them. They are so obvious.

Have you ever wondered why other people are so oblivious of their faults?
I say to myself, “Doesn’t he know how sharp his tongue is?”
“Doesn’t she realize that the very thing she is criticizing in her friend is the thing she is guilty of?”

Does that tell you something?
It tells me that, just as their faults are hidden from them, so many of mine must be hidden from me.

Have you ever wondered why people get so much pleasure out of discussing the faults of other people?
Can it be that noticing the faults of others helps us feel superior?

But God sees us, not as we wish we were, or as we think we are, but as we really are.

I suspect that if I could see myself as God sees me I would be so depressed.
It would be a revelation.
But I can see enough of my sin to cry out to God: “God be merciful to me, a sinner!”

I can say, “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.”

Another hymn that does me good goes like this:

“Depth of mercy can there be,
mercy still reserved for me?
Can my Lord his wrath forbear;
me the chief of sinners spare?”

I think that I have in me both the Pharisee and the tax collector. And whenever I begin to trust in my righteousness and notice how much better I’ve become—and when I begin to notice the sins of other people, I remind myself that that feeling of superiority is a sin.

And I say again, “God be merciful to me, a sinner!”

I was drafted into the army and sent to Korea during that war.
One day I was digging a hole. We dug a lot of holes in Korea.
I was digging away in the hard ground when I hit something hard.
I thought it was a rock.
I kept banging on it and trying to dig it out, but suddenly I realized that it was an unexploded mortar round.
I very carefully covered it up and dug my hole in another place.
Suppose that mortar round could have spoken. It might have said, “Why are you afraid of me? I’ve never done anything to you.”
I could have answered, “It’s not what you’ve done. It’s what you’ve got inside you.”

That illustrates my heart—and maybe yours.
We look good on the outside—I hope we do.
But God knows our hearts.
That’s why we all need to pray the publican’s prayer: “God be merciful to me, a sinner!”