INTRODUCTION
A number of years ago I worked in the state
prison in Mt. Pleasant. I was the librarian.
Some of the inmates had a saying—I heard it
many times—“I don’t get mad; I just get
even.”
It is true—even though some of them had done
terrible things that hurt people, many of them still had grudges against those
they believed had hurt them.
When I taught school back in Kansas, some of
the children told me this twisted version of the Golden Rule: “Do to others as
they do to you!”
It’s human nature to want to hurt the people
who hurt us. It’s part of our fallen nature.
And it leads to endless suffering.
In some countries blood feuds have gone on
for centuries. Nobody remembers how they started. They just remember that the
other tribe—or people of the other religion or family or ethnic group—had done
something bad, and the cycle of revenge had gone on and on.
I remember when I was teaching school that
the worst bullies in the school were the boys whose dads told them: “Don’t take
anything off of anyone! If someone gives you a hard time; hit him—hard!” These
were the kids who went around with a chip on their shoulder, always itching for
a fight.
The slight they reacted to may have been no
more than what they interpreted as a “dirty look.” So they would retaliate.
But we grown-ups don’t hit people.
We just hurt inside. We let injustices eat on
us. We are tempted to get bitter…to bear a grudge…to tell our friends about the
person who has hurt us…
I learned a new word recently. It is schadenfreude (SHAHD-en-FROID-a).
Schadenfreude means “rejoicing at the misfortune of others.”
Have you ever felt a surge of joy when
someone who hurt you got his come-uppance? If you haven’t, you are a holy
person. Christ is reigning in your heart.
God has a given us a better way of dealing
with those who hurt us.
In Romans 12:17-21 we read these words:
Repay
no one evil for evil,
but
take thought for what is noble in the sight of all.
If
possible, so far as it depends upon you,
live
peaceably with all.
Beloved,
never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God;
for
it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
No,
“if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink;
for
by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil
with good.
I. It seems natural to try to overcome evil
with evil—to fight fire with fire. But if I set out to “overcome with evil” I suffer in two ways.
A. When I hate the person who hurt me, I have
become evil myself.
I have allowed hatred to take me over.
My hatred takes over my mind. The more I
think how evil the other person is, the more I think that I am more virtuous
than I really am.
And I think my opponent is more evil than he
really is.
I have let my opponent turn me into a hater.
I once knew an elderly woman who so hurt by
injustices she experienced many years before, that she was still bitter years
after her enemies had died.
She brought up her hurts in conversation over
and over—sort of like someone who has an ugly sore and constantly wants to
uncover it and show it to you.
She made herself miserable and made everyone
around her miserable.
She probably had good qualities, but when I
think of her, all I can remember is that bitterness.
Philip Yancey tells of a conversation he had
with an immigrant rabbi from Nazi Germany. “Before coming to America,” the
rabbi said, “I had to forgive Hitler.”
“Why?” Yancey asked.
The rabbi said, “I did not want to bring
Hitler inside me to my new country.”
To hate—to bear a grudge—is to let your
tormentor take up residence in your head and make you miserable for the rest of
your life.
That is what it means to be overcome with
evil.
B. The second problem with letting evil
overcome me is that it makes me blind to my own faults.
I have noticed that when two people hate each
other, each person is thinking the other is the guilty one. Both sides think
the other one owes him or her an apology.
Both justify themselves as 100% right and
their opponent as 100% wrong.
That is my experience with family feuds—both
sides are sure the other side is guilty.
The truth is, to make peace, people have to
apologize, or, at least, to extend friendliness—even though they think the
fault lies with the other person.
But sometimes when one asks for
forgiveness—even though he thinks it is 95% the other person’s fault—the other
one is so startled that she realizes that she also bears responsibility and
apologizes too.
We have some dear friends whose daughter has
become estranged from them.
The daughter has made accusations against her
father. Our friends think their daughter has what’s called “a false memory.”
The daughter has tried to come back and
introduce her parents to their granddaughter.
They have refused—until she apologizes. But
she refuses to apologize because she believes she is in the right.
It’s so sad. Our friends will never meet
their granddaughter.
I know I’ve told this story before, but I’ve
only one life to draw my memories from and this illustrates my point.
Back in the 1960s I was teaching junior high.
This was a time when there was a lot of racial strife in our community.
In those days some of our African-American
students cultivated a look of hatred to show their contempt for authority.
James was African-American.
One day in class James was looking at me with
that mean look.
I said, “James, quit looking at me in that
ugly way.”
The next day James went to the principal and
said, “Mr. Sommerville said I was ugly.”
The principal came back with James, called me
out of the classroom, and told me what James had told him. I realized that what
I had actually said was not what James had heard. What had come out of my mouth
was not what had gone into James’s ear.
I took James back into the classroom and addressed
the class—because I had made my remark in front of the class—and I said, “James
heard me say that he was ugly. I’m sorry. I apologize. James is not ugly. He is
a good looking young man.”
James was satisfied with the apology, and the
class went on.
At the end of the hour, as the children filed
past me to go to their next class, James looked up at me and said, “Mr.
Sommerville. I ain’t never going to give you no hard time again.” The rest of
the year went pretty well with James and me.
Sometimes it’s right to apologize even when
you’re in the right—because that‘s not the way the other person sees it.
II. Jesus shows us how to “overcome evil with goodness.”
A. On the cross Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not
what they do.”
And a few weeks after Jesus made that prayer;
many of those people, his former enemies, who witnessed his death came to faith
and became followers of Jesus.
The captain of those soldiers who crucified
Jesus came to faith that very day. He was an answer to Jesus’ prayer. He looked
at the crucified Jesus and said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”
B. To overcome evil with goodness, we need to
take the evil and give back goodness.
I read about a man who was so good at
repaying evil with good that someone said that to do him an injustice was a
sure way to have him be your friend for life.
Difficult? Yes. Impossible, without the grace of God.
Our text from Romans said, If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is
thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning
coals upon his head.”
I take it that the “burning coals” will melt
his hard heart and make him sorry for what he has done.
I warn you. It won’t always work. He or she
may still hate you. But you will have overcome the evil in your own heart.
A young Muslim became a Christian. His
friends were baiting him.
“What have you gotten out of this
Christianity business?” they taunted.
His answer: “I can forgive.”
I have seen this happen, even here at Village
Place. Two people were offended with each other and were telling their friends
about it.
Each of them blamed the other.
I don’t know the details. It tried not to
listen.
But just recently, I saw—on several
occasions—one of those people extending friendliness to the other. I am not
sure what is going on, but it looks beautiful.
CONCLUSION
A young pastor of our acquaintance started a
church about ten years ago.
A member of the church board made life difficult
for the pastor from the beginning.
The pastor longed for the day when this board
member’s term of service would be over.
The board member and her husband had a
business. It was difficult time in the economy and the business was shaky.
The pastor made it a point to pray every day
for the success of the business that belonged to this woman and her husband.
The business succeed.
After she was off the board, she and her
husband became close friends and supporters of their pastor.
A year ago she and her husband planned a trip
to the Holy Land. She invited the pastor and his wife to go along—all expenses
paid.
The two couples are good friends now, and
share meals in one another’s homes.
That pastor did what he could to bless the
one who was makng life hard for him.
And it worked.
When he told me the story, I said, “Well,
that’s one story you can’t use as a sermon illustration, but I can.”
Maybe a boss, a fellow-worker, or a friend
has wronged you...
The scripture I read encourages us to
overcome evil with good.
Whenever those resentful thoughts come into
your mind, give them to God.
Ask him to pour his healing love into your
heart.
Ask God to help you forgive that person and
let go of those hurtful thoughts.
If the person who wronged you is still alive,
say a prayer for him or her.
Think of what good you can do them.
If he or she is no longer living, just let it
go.
Ask God to help you forgive.
Ask God to help you forget.
Ask him to heal you.
Love everyone—even the unlovable. Pray for
everyone—even your enemies. Forgive everyone—even if they aren’t sorry.
Jesus said, “Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who
curse you. Pray for those who despitefully use you.”
“Do not be overcome with evil,
but overcome evil with good.”
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