Living for Jesus: Colossians 4:6: Be Careful What You Say.

There is an old proverb: “A bird is known by its note; a man by his talk.” Another old saying is “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” But it’s not true: words can hurt—and words can also heal.

COLOSSIANS 4:6: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY

INTRODUCTION

Scientists who have studied the matter tell us that the average adult speaks about 13,500 words each day. Of course there are great differences between us. Teachers, barbers, and salespeople talk much more than farmers, accountants, and bus drivers.
But suppose you speak 13,500 words every day of your life. That would be almost 5 million words per year. In a lifetime of 80 years you might speak nearly 400 million words.
An ordinary novel contains 250 words per page. Think of a book with 250 pages, with 250 words on each page. That would be 60,000 words.
If an average person speaks 13,500 words each day for 80 years, he or she would say enough words to fill 4867 books.
Imagine if all the words you had ever spoken were printed in books and those books were lined up on shelves—that would be quite a roomful of books!

One day, when our son John was a little boy, he told us that someone had said something hurtful to him.
I told him: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
He said, “But Daddy, they do hurt.”
That’s true. Words can hurt, and they can also heal and comfort and encourage.

A little girl knelt beside her bed and said this to Jesus, “Dear Jesus, make all the good people nice.”
Sometimes we forget that being nice is part of being good.
And the main way we have of being “nice” is by kind words.

How we use talk to help one another and to express our faith in God is an important subject in the Bible.

In Paul’s letter to the Colossians we read these words:

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt,
so that you may know how you ought to answer every one.”

I. How can our speech be gracious and seasoned with salt?

A. Gracious speech is speech that is comforting, encouraging, and full of gratitude.

We speak graciously when we offer a sincere compliment…when we notice something good in another person.
We speak graciously when we thank someone for a little act of kindness—even if it is part of their job.
We speak graciously when we sympathize with one who is hurting. Compassion is feeling the hurt in another person’s heart. Compassion also includes doing something—even if it is just a sympathizing word.
Sometimes speaking graciously might even mean refraining from speech and just listening. For some of us listening is hard to do. I often feel that I just must talk or I will burst. But I won’t burst. I need to discipline my speech and listen more.

Ungracious speech includes ridiculing, correcting and contradicting, gossiping and tale-bearing.

We were in a church once in which the men had a habit of kidding one another. I felt that much of the kidding was unkind, they sometimes hurt each other, pretending it was humor.

In Ephesians Paul wrote this, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, that your words may give grace to those who hear.”
That is gracious talk; talk that builds up the other person, talk that imparts grace to the one who hears.

In the same letter Paul tells us to speak the truth in love. We may say something that is true, but we must also speak in love. That means that some things we might like to say—we don’t. It means that we are always thinking about the other person’s feelings rather than our own.

Do you remember when you said something dumb or unkind and your mother told you: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”?

Someone suggests that everything we say should pass through three sieves: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?”
If we all followed that rule, the world would be a lot quieter. It would also be happier.

Here are some of the ways we can make love with our voices:

“Let me help you.”
“You’ve been a good friend.”
“Those are the words I needed to hear.”
“You’ve made my day.”
“Here, use mine.”
“Are you comfortable?”
“I’ll wait for you.”
”Thank you.”
“I’ve been thinking about you.”
“What a beautiful sweater!”
“You’re fun to be around.”
”Here’s something just for you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you for your visit.”
“You’re a good listener.”
“Something you told me the other day has been an encouragement to me.”
“Tell me about your grandchildren.”
“You seem troubled today; can I help?”

These are examples of gracious speech.

B. But what does the apostle mean when he says our speech should be “seasoned with salt”?

A little salt enhances the flavor in food.

I eat oatmeal for breakfast. If I forget to put about ¼ teaspoon of salt in it, it tastes like the pan.
We make bread at our house. For a loaf of bread we use 1 teaspoon of salt. When we eat the bread we can’t taste that bit of salt, but if we forget to put in the salt, the bread tastes insipid.

Speech seasoned with salt is speech that is interesting or helpful.
That requires thinking before we speak.

We need to learn and think, so that when we open our mouths something useful comes out. But we remember that what’s interesting to us may not be interesting to others.
Someone said, “Ideas are like children; our own are very wonderful.”
That is why it is more important to be good listeners than good talkers.

But for ancient people, salt was more important as a preservative than as a seasoning.

People in Bible times didn’t have canning or freezing.
The only way to keep meat or fish eatable was to salt it.
So people thought of salt as that which preserves.
When Jesus says, “You are the salt of the earth,” he means that we are to preserve goodness in society.
If we are to be the salt of the earth, our speech should reflect that goodness that preserves and protects rather than destroying and hurting.
When St. Paul says that our speech is to be “seasoned with salt,” he means that it is to be wholesome and helpful.

II. If we love Jesus, our love for him should show up in our talk.

A. Whatever we love and whatever is important to us, we talk about. Loyalty to our Lord must go beyond being kind and considerate.

It is easy to give the impression that we are “religious.” People see that we go to church. They may see us bow our heads to give thanks for our food; they may see our Bible on our table or the Bible verse on our wall. Those things speak of what is important to us.

But sometimes we will have to say something.

B. Our text says, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer every one.”

One answer is appropriate for one person, and another answer is appropriate for another.
For example, if the one I am speaking to is not a fellow believer, or if I don’t know about my friend’s feelings about God, I need to be sensitive.

Some people are frightened by talk about God or salvation.
We need a tender heart and a humble mind when we mention God’s love and our assurance of eternal life.

But when someone shares a sorrow, we listen with sympathy.
Maybe you tell her, “I’ll remember you in my prayers.
Hardly anyone is offended by knowing that we are praying for them—even if they don’t believe in God.
If someone shares a disappointment with you, you may say, “When my world fell apart, it was a comfort to know that God loves me and will never let me go.”
And whenever anyone asks you about your source of contentment, be ready to tell them what God has done for you.
If someone does us a kindness, we might say, “Thank you so much. May God bless you.”
Most people are happy to receive your blessing, and it may help draw them to God.

If our friend is a fellow believer we can be very direct. They will enjoy talking with us about salvation, the blessings in our lives, and our expectation of heaven.
As a believer, to hear someone talk about God in their lives is a great comfort and strength.
All of us struggle with faith sometimes. To hear my friend talk about the reality of God helps me to believe more firmly.
It’s true that we Christian people hold on to one another’s faith.

CONCLUSION

I read a story not long ago that illustrates the healing power of thoughtful words.

Mary Ann Bird was born with multiple birth defects: deaf in one ear, a cleft palate, a disfigured face, a crooked nose, lopsided feet. As a child she suffered not only the physical impairments but also the thoughtless comments of other children. “Oh, Mary Ann,” her classmates would say, “what happened to your lip?”
Mary Ann would lie: “I cut it on a piece of glass.”
For Mary Ann one of the worst experiences at school was the day of the annual hearing test. The teacher would call each child to her desk, and the child would cover first one ear, and then the other. The teacher would whisper something to the child like “The sky is blue” or “You have new shoes.” This was the whisper test”: if the child could repeat the teacher’s whispered sentence, he or she passed the whisper test. To avoid the humiliation of failure, Mary Ann always cheated on the test by secretly cupping her hand over her one good ear so that she could still hear what the teacher said.
One year Mary Ann was in the class of Miss Leonard, one of the most beloved teachers in the school. Every student, including Mary Ann, wanted to be noticed by her, wanted her affection. Then came the day of the dreaded hearing test.
When her turn came, Mary Ann was called to the teacher’s desk. As Mary Ann cupped her hand over her good ear, Miss Leonard leaned forward to whisper. “I waited for those words,” Mary Ann wrote, “which God must have put into her mouth, those seven words which changed my life.” Miss Leonard did not say “The sky is blue” or “You have new shoes.” What she whispered was “I wish you were my little girl.”
Those words changed Mary Ann Bird’s life. She went on to become a teacher herself, a person of inner beauty and great kindness.

That time when her beloved teacher told her “I wish you were my little girl” was so important to Mary Ann Bird that when she wrote the story of her life in her memoir, she titled it “The Whisper Test.” (Thomas G. Long, Testimony, p86)