Connecting with God in Prayer: Matthew 15:21-28: The Silence of God

Have you ever felt that God was ignoring you? Matthew includes a little story in his gospel that shows us how we can get through to God.

MATTHEW 15:21-28: THE SILENCE OF GOD

INTRODUCTION

A pastor told me once about a woman he visited who was 104 years old. All her friends had gone to heaven, and she was left alone. She was tired of weakness and sickness; she was lonely. She wanted to be with Jesus, too. She said, “I feel like God has forgotten me.”

Have you ever felt that God has forgotten you?
You pray and nothing happens.
You read your Bible, but God seems to be far away.
You go to worship but you don’t feel anything.
You think, “Maybe God doesn’t care.”
You wonder, “Maybe I’ve believed a lie; maybe there isn’t a God after all.”

It is hard to deal with the silence of God.
A famous Christian author said, “I think there is no suffering greater than what is caused by the doubts of those who want to believe.”

In Matthew’s gospel we have a story in the gospel about a woman who came to Jesus with a great need—and Jesus ignored her. When she persisted, he insulted her. But the story has a happy ending.

We find the story of this remarkable lady in Matthew 15:21-28.

I. The woman was a Canaanite, from a nation that was a traditional enemy of Israel. Israel had conquered their land some 1500 years before. The Old Testament says a lot of harsh things about the Canaanites.

A. She lived in what is now Lebanon—north, beyond the borders of the Holy Land.

How did she learn of Jesus? How did she get the idea that he was the Messiah, the “Son of David”?
We don’t know. We only know that one day when Jesus had left his own country to get away from the demanding crowds and the arguing and disputing of his enemies and to have a quiet time with his disciples, this pagan woman came with her urgent plea.

She cried out with her urgent plea: “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely possessed by a demon.”

B. And Jesus ignored her.

How out of character this seems!
Elsewhere in the gospels we read that Jesus was the friend of sinners and outcasts, of the sick and needy, and all who needed healing.
“But Jesus did not answer her not a word” (v23).

The disciples knew how much Jesus needed rest and refreshment. They suggested he send her away.
Apparently her pestering of Jesus had gone on for some time.

Let us remember, when we read the gospels that we are reading only a sketch of what went on.
I once saw a movie about the life of Jesus. It used only the actual words of Jesus as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew.
It didn’t seem realistic at all. Everything happened too fast.
Surely Jesus didn’t go around having three-sentence conversations with people and then walking away.
What we have in our story is just the gist of the conversation.
This woman evidently had just kept calling out to Jesus for some time, and Jesus had kept ignoring her.
And finally, the disciples, sizing up the situation, decided it had gone too far.
So they suggested Jesus tell her to move on.

II. This story troubles us. Why didn’t Jesus help her? What would we think of a doctor who refused to treat a patient of a different race? So let’s look at the story a little closer.

A. First of all, Jesus wanted her—and his disciples—to understand something very important about his mission.

Jesus said to the woman, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”
Jesus would have only three years to get the “Jesus Movement” underway.
He didn’t have time to spend wandering through various countries as a medical missionary.

God’s plan was that through Israel he would bless the world.
That plan started with Abraham, back in the book of Genesis.
Then, after the resurrection, Jesus would send his disciples out to make disciples of every nation.

B. But the woman wasn’t discouraged by this information—nor did Jesus expect her to be.

She came and knelt before him—in the attitude of worship—and simply said, “Lord, help me!” (v25).
That’s one of the best prayers anyone can ever make.
A prayer we need to make over and over—maybe every day: “Lord, help me.”

C. And Jesus seemed to rebuff her: “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs” (v26).

The Jews had a lot of racial pride, and they used to call the Gentiles, “dogs.”
And the Gentiles returned the compliment by calling the Jews things just as bad.
But it surprises us to hear Jesus say such a harsh thing to the poor, desperate woman.
That’s because haven’t used our imaginations properly.
We need to imagine that we are there.

We need to see the look of Jesus’ face.
We need to hear the tone of his voice.
There was a tenderness in his voice, and maybe a bit of a smile on his face.
Jesus was teasing her to see how she would take these words.
Jesus was inviting her to argue her case with him.
D. She could have retorted:

“That’s not fair!” Or, “I’m just as good as they are!” Or, “Would it really be such a big problem for you to help me?”

No, she used her wits. When Jesus seemed to reach out his hand to push her away, she took hold of it to draw him close.

She picked up on the word “dog”: “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table” (v27).
She was content to be a “dog” if she could be a dog at Jesus’ table.

III. Jesus was very pleased with her answer.

A. Her humility, her wisdom, and her faith overcame any reluctance Jesus may have had in the beginning.

Humility, wisdom, and faith delight the heart of Jesus.
He said to her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly” (v28).

Peter and Andrew and James and John had left all to follow Jesus.
But Jesus never said to them: “Great is your faith!”
The only other person of whom it is recorded in the gospels to receive this compliment was the heathen centurion who came asking Jesus to heal his sick son.
In these two stories we have a preview of the gospel mission that would begin at Pentecost and spread out to all the world.

B. This woman’s experience with Jesus was much richer because Jesus forced her persevere, and so to express her great faith.

I know a woman who, after she had taken care of her aging mother for many years, said, “Well, now God owes me one.”
The woman in our story knew that God didn’t owe her anything.
When God helps us—when God saves us—when God hears our prayers—it is pure grace.
We have no claim on him. He doesn’t owe us anything.

APPLICATION

Have you ever been ignored? It hurts, doesn’t it?
It’s even worse when God seems to ignore us.
I have known people who became so discouraged by unanswered prayer that they gave up on God.
They couldn’t bear the silence of God.

This story can be a parable to us of what to do when we feel ignored by God.
This woman could have gone home after she was rebuffed and said, “I tried. I went to him and begged him. And he refused me. I did what I could and it didn’t work.”

The Canaanite woman teaches us that it is earnest prayer, not casual prayer, that moves the heart of God.
Do you remember the story of Jacob—how he wrestled with the angel?
They wrestled all night, and the angel was winning.
But Jacob held on to the angel and said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me” (Genesis 32:26).
And he won the blessing.
This woman was like Jacob. She held on and she won the blessing.

CONCLUSION

The preacher and theologian Fred Craddock tells of a time when he went to a hospital to visit a friend.
He was walking down the hall when he came upon a woman with her head against a door; she was banging on the door with both fists.
“Let me in! Let me in!” she shouted.
When Craddock got to the door, he saw that it was the chapel.
He said, “Here, let me help you.” And he tried the door, but it was locked.
He finally found someone with a key and they went in.
She had evidently come to the hospital without any planning. Her clothes were not nice. Her hair hadn’t been combed. She was wearing flip-flops.
The woman had the look of desperation. She had the voice of desperation.
“I know he’s going to die, I know he’s going to die, I know he’s going to die,” she screamed.
“Who?” Craddock asked.
“My husband.”
“What’s the matter?”
“He’s had a heart attack.”
Craddock told her that he was a minister and asked, “Can I pray with you?”
And she said, “Yes, please.”
And Craddock began to pray. But the woman interrupted him.
She started praying herself. She just took over.
She said, “Lord, this is not the time to take my husband. You know that better than I do. He’s not ready. Never prays. Never goes to church. He’s not ready. And what about me? I don’t have any skills. I can’t find work. I dropped out of school to marry him.”
She was really talking to God.

“And what about the kids?” she said. “They don’t mind me now with him around. If he’s gone, they’ll be wild as bucks. What about the kids? This is not the time to take my husband.”

The next day Craddock went back to the hospital.
He saw the same woman. She had a nice dress on. She had combed her hair. She was wearing shoes. She looked fine.
Before he could ask, she said, “He’s better.” She smiled and said, “I’m sorry about that crazy woman yesterday.”
Craddock said, “You weren’t crazy.”
She said, “I guess the Lord heard one of us.”
Craddock said, “He heard you.”

Craddock comments: “She was desperate. She had God by the lapels, both hands, and was screaming in God’s face: ‘I don’t think you’re listening!’ That’s desperation.”
God likes it when we pray like we really mean business.